To all my readers:
Well, after last week's appeal I have been seriously underwhelmed by the response so have decided to discontinue this blog. It has been fun and a worthwhile experiment, I think, but not so much fun that I want to carry on at present!
I'd like to thank all my readers, especially Alis and Mary who have been regular contributors, but to absolutely anyone who has written a post, or sent me an e-mail or just read my rantings and musings, thank you for paying me that compliment. It has been good therapy for me on occasion and I think some people have felt very affirmed in their own views by seeing mine reflect them.
For now, however, it's goodbye. I think I may be more effective ranting at my poor, unsuspecting MP! And in terms of my work as a children's writer, I'm hoping to continue my fictional blog for my character Kate, whom I miss writing about after four novels in which she featured. We shall see!
If you've enjoyed my blog and haven't read any of my books - go read some! If you're an adult, I recommend 'Piper' or possibly 'Fur'. They're very different in style from what I've written here but....well, see what you think!
All the best,
Meg
Wednesday, 13 February 2008
Wednesday, 6 February 2008
Meg muses about blogging!
For my younger readers:
Do you keep a diary? I used to as a young person – in fact, I still have them in a box hidden away. I suspect they would be very embarrassing to read now! I’m not sure how worth keeping they were. Sometimes it felt like a chore keeping one – at other times, it was really therapeutic.
The reason I raise this now is that, this week, I’m musing on the whole concept of blogging which I plunged into without knowing much about – and blogging can be just keeping a diary on line. That’s not what I do. For me, a diary would be very personal and I wouldn’t want to put out that sort of information on the web – and so I muse or rant instead. I very much enjoy writing for an audience – and I can’t imagine an audience being interested in the small detail of my life!
There are so many reasons for writing – I’ve just mentioned a few here. Are you a writer? What does it for you?
For my more wrinkly readers:
Time to pause for a moment and consider this whole blogging business. I have been wondering in the last few weeks why I am doing it – well, I have been wondering from the start why anyone does it, actually! I’m not a blog reader so I have plunged in ignorantly, possibly where angels fear to tread! To have a web-site is, these days, expected of a writer – to keep a blog is supposed to make it ‘sticky’ and is another way of widening your profile. But does it really? Or is it, as a friend heard on a TV programme recently, ‘Something losers put on line so everyone can read.’
I can tell from my web stats and the occasional e-mail that I’m getting more readers than appears from the posts – but my audience is not huge – so I’m wondering whether I should carry on. When I started off, I had to consider carefully what sort of blog I would write. I didn’t want to write a diary – might as well watch paint dry – and I didn’t want to put out lots of personal information. I also had to be careful of the content because I may have young readers, parents of my readers and other gate-keepers of children’s fiction such as librarians and teachers. I also have an urge to be an activist – to try to change the world for the better in whatever small ways I can – and I don’t have much free time for demonstrations, lobbying or acts of civil disobedience. I do try to fund-raise in small ways for the various charities I support and I do, every so often, organise slightly off-the-wall events – last year’s effort was a study day on alternative and green funerals, this year’s will be setting up a Soul Space as an aid to reflection and meditation on Maunday Thursday at my church, Castle Hill Baptist in Warwick. (You’re very welcome to come and use it – e-mail me for times nearer Easter.) The blog seemed like another theatre for activism. I myself am impressed and changed by articles and books I read – so my hope was that other people may be too. Or if not changed, supported in what they already believed. It’s so lovely to read something to which you can say, ‘Yes – me too!’ Sometimes it can feel very lonely sticking to your principles, especially if they feel pretty quirky!
But maybe this is really all a waste of time and I’d be better off doing my ironing and watching a DVD – or at least writing a letter to my MP! (Bless him – James Plaskitt is very diligent – I just wish he’d send me a postcard every so often saying, ‘Yes, Meg, I couldn’t agree more’ rather than a massive envelope stuffed with the latest Green Paper or committee report on the topic!)
So you tell me. How valuable is this? How valuable is blogging in general? Should I be writing a different sort of blog? My inter-active fictional blog for my character Kate might be a better one for me to pursue, seeing as I write for children – and so far it has only three entries. Fans of my Christmas quiz might be interested in something lighter – heavens, there’s enough goes on in this house – like this………………………
The boiler has died. It’s been on the blink ever since we moved in and has been the subject of much gloomy speculation from Roy, Prophet of Boiler Doom, who has visited regularly to fix it. On his last visit, it took several attempts to fix and so much sighing I thought Roy himself might expire.
‘If it goes again, that’ll be it, love,’ said Roy.
‘How much will it cost?’
Roy shook his head sadly. ‘Oh very, very dear,’ he said. ‘Very, very, very dear.’
‘Oh well. I’ll hope not to see you again then,’ I said.
Aagh! Cut out my tongue! Famous last words. Well, mine to him. Imagine my dismay when, the boiler having breathed its last, instead of grumpy old Roy, handsome young Mark came to fit a new one. (Oh, OK, dismay may be an exaggeration….)
‘Oh – where’s Roy?’ I said.
Mark shook his head sadly and patted the dead boiler. ‘Didn’t you hear what happened? He’s not with us any more.’
I thought he meant Roy had changed companies – or retired. But no! Roy, Prophet of Boiler Doom, had pre-deceased our boiler by a couple of weeks. Gulp.
He would have had a field day with what happened next. The new boiler was not straightforward to fit. Fuses kept shorting, fitters got shocks, at one stage there were four fitters and one electrician infesting my kitchen. It all took four days rather than two, with the temperature dropping all the time and snow forecast. And then water started spurting out of the study wall – it turned out there was a nail (probably put there by us when we moved in!) straight into a heating pipe! So then we needed a succession of builders and plumbers and the fitters back again. I can just imagine Roy sighing heavily, shaking his head and telling me gloomily that it was all going to be very, very, very dear.
So you tell me. What do you want from this blog? Ranting? Musing? Humour? Nothing?
If you don’t want to write a post, send me an e-mail. You can use contact Meg on my web-site front page or use meg4ever@greenbee.net
Thanks – I’ll look forward to hearing from you. Who knows? Maybe I’ll be doing something completely different next Wednesday evening!
Do you keep a diary? I used to as a young person – in fact, I still have them in a box hidden away. I suspect they would be very embarrassing to read now! I’m not sure how worth keeping they were. Sometimes it felt like a chore keeping one – at other times, it was really therapeutic.
The reason I raise this now is that, this week, I’m musing on the whole concept of blogging which I plunged into without knowing much about – and blogging can be just keeping a diary on line. That’s not what I do. For me, a diary would be very personal and I wouldn’t want to put out that sort of information on the web – and so I muse or rant instead. I very much enjoy writing for an audience – and I can’t imagine an audience being interested in the small detail of my life!
There are so many reasons for writing – I’ve just mentioned a few here. Are you a writer? What does it for you?
For my more wrinkly readers:
Time to pause for a moment and consider this whole blogging business. I have been wondering in the last few weeks why I am doing it – well, I have been wondering from the start why anyone does it, actually! I’m not a blog reader so I have plunged in ignorantly, possibly where angels fear to tread! To have a web-site is, these days, expected of a writer – to keep a blog is supposed to make it ‘sticky’ and is another way of widening your profile. But does it really? Or is it, as a friend heard on a TV programme recently, ‘Something losers put on line so everyone can read.’
I can tell from my web stats and the occasional e-mail that I’m getting more readers than appears from the posts – but my audience is not huge – so I’m wondering whether I should carry on. When I started off, I had to consider carefully what sort of blog I would write. I didn’t want to write a diary – might as well watch paint dry – and I didn’t want to put out lots of personal information. I also had to be careful of the content because I may have young readers, parents of my readers and other gate-keepers of children’s fiction such as librarians and teachers. I also have an urge to be an activist – to try to change the world for the better in whatever small ways I can – and I don’t have much free time for demonstrations, lobbying or acts of civil disobedience. I do try to fund-raise in small ways for the various charities I support and I do, every so often, organise slightly off-the-wall events – last year’s effort was a study day on alternative and green funerals, this year’s will be setting up a Soul Space as an aid to reflection and meditation on Maunday Thursday at my church, Castle Hill Baptist in Warwick. (You’re very welcome to come and use it – e-mail me for times nearer Easter.) The blog seemed like another theatre for activism. I myself am impressed and changed by articles and books I read – so my hope was that other people may be too. Or if not changed, supported in what they already believed. It’s so lovely to read something to which you can say, ‘Yes – me too!’ Sometimes it can feel very lonely sticking to your principles, especially if they feel pretty quirky!
But maybe this is really all a waste of time and I’d be better off doing my ironing and watching a DVD – or at least writing a letter to my MP! (Bless him – James Plaskitt is very diligent – I just wish he’d send me a postcard every so often saying, ‘Yes, Meg, I couldn’t agree more’ rather than a massive envelope stuffed with the latest Green Paper or committee report on the topic!)
So you tell me. How valuable is this? How valuable is blogging in general? Should I be writing a different sort of blog? My inter-active fictional blog for my character Kate might be a better one for me to pursue, seeing as I write for children – and so far it has only three entries. Fans of my Christmas quiz might be interested in something lighter – heavens, there’s enough goes on in this house – like this………………………
The boiler has died. It’s been on the blink ever since we moved in and has been the subject of much gloomy speculation from Roy, Prophet of Boiler Doom, who has visited regularly to fix it. On his last visit, it took several attempts to fix and so much sighing I thought Roy himself might expire.
‘If it goes again, that’ll be it, love,’ said Roy.
‘How much will it cost?’
Roy shook his head sadly. ‘Oh very, very dear,’ he said. ‘Very, very, very dear.’
‘Oh well. I’ll hope not to see you again then,’ I said.
Aagh! Cut out my tongue! Famous last words. Well, mine to him. Imagine my dismay when, the boiler having breathed its last, instead of grumpy old Roy, handsome young Mark came to fit a new one. (Oh, OK, dismay may be an exaggeration….)
‘Oh – where’s Roy?’ I said.
Mark shook his head sadly and patted the dead boiler. ‘Didn’t you hear what happened? He’s not with us any more.’
I thought he meant Roy had changed companies – or retired. But no! Roy, Prophet of Boiler Doom, had pre-deceased our boiler by a couple of weeks. Gulp.
He would have had a field day with what happened next. The new boiler was not straightforward to fit. Fuses kept shorting, fitters got shocks, at one stage there were four fitters and one electrician infesting my kitchen. It all took four days rather than two, with the temperature dropping all the time and snow forecast. And then water started spurting out of the study wall – it turned out there was a nail (probably put there by us when we moved in!) straight into a heating pipe! So then we needed a succession of builders and plumbers and the fitters back again. I can just imagine Roy sighing heavily, shaking his head and telling me gloomily that it was all going to be very, very, very dear.
So you tell me. What do you want from this blog? Ranting? Musing? Humour? Nothing?
If you don’t want to write a post, send me an e-mail. You can use contact Meg on my web-site front page or use meg4ever@greenbee.net
Thanks – I’ll look forward to hearing from you. Who knows? Maybe I’ll be doing something completely different next Wednesday evening!
Thursday, 31 January 2008
Meg rants about shopping!
For my younger readers:
My topic this week is shopping – and you, it appears, are the shopping generation! So tell me how you do it? Do you buy the cheapest version of the product you want? Do you prefer to pay a little more for better quality? Do you buy stuff because you need it – or just because you want it? Do ‘labels’ matter to you? If so, why? Is there any type of item you would never buy? I, for example, would never buy something made from real fur. Are you concerned about whether the people who made the product have been treated well and paid a fair wage? Do you know that sometimes children are employed to make the things we buy? How do you feel about that?
Loads to think about – if it makes you feel any better, I’m going to throw the same sort of questions at the wrinklies – because I don’t know the right answers to many a shopping question and I want to know what they think!
For my more wrinkly readers:
OK, have a read of this:
‘I can’t believe the idealistic naivety I’m listening to,’ a girl with short blonde hair said belligerently. ‘I mean, how old are we, twelve? You can’t compare conditions in the Third World with those here! OK, nobody here is going to work for a dollar a day, but the cost of living is dramatically different. Take Atoz out of the equation and most of those families would starve. It’s not Atoz or some nice benevolent employer, you know! It’s Atoz or nothing – famine in the countryside, starvation in the city. I mean, come on, face reality! Bring pressure to bear on Atoz now we’ve got the leverage with them to offer better terms and conditions, but don’t for Christ’s sake just go, ‘Sod off Atoz we don’t like your attitude!’ That gets nobody anywhere!’
Thus rants (girl after my own heart!) a young student in my friend Alis Hawkins’ newly published book ‘Testament’ (ISBN 978 0 230 700001 7) which I’ve mentioned before – and regular readers of this blog will have noted that she’s a prolific poster of posts! The students are contesting their college’s decision to accept sponsorship from Atoz for their running team (the college is almost bankrupt) as it has a very dodgy ethical record but Girl With Short Blonde Hair deplores their simplistic take on the situation. It’s not hard to see the parallel. Just drop in Adidas or Nike or Gap or Primark instead of Atoz.
So what would you do? Does GWSBH convince you? Or do you agree with the other right-on students – ‘Oh, come on, that’s like saying, “I’m going to stay in the Nazi party and change from within….”’ Or would you think the college is worth saving at any cost? Education is priceless?
B******d if I know! Part of my inspiration for ‘Piper’ was my horror at small children being used to weave carpets for so many hours that they went blind. But the brutal truth is that many families really do need the extra money. Should their children work or starve? Tough call. Project Mala provides both work and schooling for rug-making children in India – limited hours of work but enough to help a little with the family coffers. Now that sounds sensible. I don’t want to think of any child having to work for hours over a loom – but GWSBH would probably tell me that’s naïve!
Of course, it doesn’t stop with clothes and carpets. For me there is little or no pleasure in shopping any more and certainly the idea of a bargain is a poisoned chalice. Every purchase is an ethical dilemma. Should I go for a cheap deal on Amazon or support my local Indie bookshop (they kindly give me a good discount which helps!!!)? Should I buy fewer clothes of high quality at a price which suggests the workers are getting a reasonable deal and make them last? If I do, can I be sure that’s really the case and I’m not just being ripped off? Should I only ever buy Fair Trade clothing? (I’m a big fan of Bishopston Trading Company but their style is not suitable for all occasions and some of their garments don’t stand up to much washing!) Is it possible to get Fair Trade bras that actually do something for those challenged in the boob department?
I’m very lucky. I’m part of a wholefood co-operative which solves some of my store-cupboard dilemmas. ‘Essential’ stocks a wide range of Fair Trade, organic and animal friendly products and buying in bulk with others means the cost is minimised. But it’s an extra effort – the weighing and the sorting – it takes time – and time, of course, is money.
And then there’s the fruit and veg. Oh my goodness, what a minefield! Those who go to local Farmers’ Markets get the most Brownie points here. You’re buying local (you hope!) and possibly organic and possibly rare breed and free range. And you’re certainly supporting British farmers who earn a paltry amount and work every hour God sends. But if, like me, you cannot get to a Farmer’s Market and you’re trying to cram five fruit and veg into children who turn their noses up at English Coxes and Conference Pears, then you are doomed to spend a long time rummaging in your local supermarket, checking labels for country of origin, whether it’s GM modified, and, of course, whether it’s organic or Fair Trade. You will see a few others with furrowed brows rummaging too – and will despair at the number who couldn’t care less! Are they the same people who are happy to take twenty plastic bags home with them, at every single visit?
Meat…let’s just say that I have two free-range chickens, Edwina and Theodora, in my garden and I see that they are very happy. I see the sad little packs of bland skinned chicken breasts, two for the price of one – and I only buy them very occasionally and hope Ed and Ted can’t detect my guilt!
And I nearly forgot Nestle! As a long-term boycotter, I gave up such delights as Shredded Wheat ages ago and my children have never known the joys of, for example, Kit Kats. (Can’t say we’ve missed them!) I was a breastfeeding counsellor for five years and just don’t ask how long I breastfed my own children for – oops, I can feel another rant simmering…. But that the Nestle reach includes L’Oreal and therefore now The Body Shop - and a complete monopoly on condensed milk - is really irritating. When we occasionally eat Bannoffee Pie, we feel a penance is required!
The whole thing is one long fudge and compromise. I’d be a veggie if I could eat cheese. The challenge to eat so much fruit and veg tempts me into the exotic. The price of organic, free-range meat means we eat it less often. The lack of variety in Fair Trade chocolate means I take pity on the kids and buy a rationed amount of the Evil Stuff for their lunch boxes. With clothes, I’m very good for a while – and then I’ll go and fall for a bargain in H&M!
So tell me – how do you all resolve the dilemmas of shopping ethically? There’s more I could say – the topic seems endless. Fresh store-cupboard nightmares emerge all the time and there are bound to be loads I don’t know about! Finding your way through this particular moral maze is time-consuming and depressing. However hard you try, you’re just never going to get it completely right! Many Christians, of course, accept that state of affairs anyway – we can never achieve perfection in anything. But I would like to be encouraged to do the best I can – at 8am on a Saturday in Sainsbury’s, I begin to lose the will to live!
Write me a post! Tell me your tips for ethical consumerism – if that’s not a contradiction in terms!
And thank you, Alis, for allowing me to quote from ‘Testament’ – read it everyone!
My topic this week is shopping – and you, it appears, are the shopping generation! So tell me how you do it? Do you buy the cheapest version of the product you want? Do you prefer to pay a little more for better quality? Do you buy stuff because you need it – or just because you want it? Do ‘labels’ matter to you? If so, why? Is there any type of item you would never buy? I, for example, would never buy something made from real fur. Are you concerned about whether the people who made the product have been treated well and paid a fair wage? Do you know that sometimes children are employed to make the things we buy? How do you feel about that?
Loads to think about – if it makes you feel any better, I’m going to throw the same sort of questions at the wrinklies – because I don’t know the right answers to many a shopping question and I want to know what they think!
For my more wrinkly readers:
OK, have a read of this:
‘I can’t believe the idealistic naivety I’m listening to,’ a girl with short blonde hair said belligerently. ‘I mean, how old are we, twelve? You can’t compare conditions in the Third World with those here! OK, nobody here is going to work for a dollar a day, but the cost of living is dramatically different. Take Atoz out of the equation and most of those families would starve. It’s not Atoz or some nice benevolent employer, you know! It’s Atoz or nothing – famine in the countryside, starvation in the city. I mean, come on, face reality! Bring pressure to bear on Atoz now we’ve got the leverage with them to offer better terms and conditions, but don’t for Christ’s sake just go, ‘Sod off Atoz we don’t like your attitude!’ That gets nobody anywhere!’
Thus rants (girl after my own heart!) a young student in my friend Alis Hawkins’ newly published book ‘Testament’ (ISBN 978 0 230 700001 7) which I’ve mentioned before – and regular readers of this blog will have noted that she’s a prolific poster of posts! The students are contesting their college’s decision to accept sponsorship from Atoz for their running team (the college is almost bankrupt) as it has a very dodgy ethical record but Girl With Short Blonde Hair deplores their simplistic take on the situation. It’s not hard to see the parallel. Just drop in Adidas or Nike or Gap or Primark instead of Atoz.
So what would you do? Does GWSBH convince you? Or do you agree with the other right-on students – ‘Oh, come on, that’s like saying, “I’m going to stay in the Nazi party and change from within….”’ Or would you think the college is worth saving at any cost? Education is priceless?
B******d if I know! Part of my inspiration for ‘Piper’ was my horror at small children being used to weave carpets for so many hours that they went blind. But the brutal truth is that many families really do need the extra money. Should their children work or starve? Tough call. Project Mala provides both work and schooling for rug-making children in India – limited hours of work but enough to help a little with the family coffers. Now that sounds sensible. I don’t want to think of any child having to work for hours over a loom – but GWSBH would probably tell me that’s naïve!
Of course, it doesn’t stop with clothes and carpets. For me there is little or no pleasure in shopping any more and certainly the idea of a bargain is a poisoned chalice. Every purchase is an ethical dilemma. Should I go for a cheap deal on Amazon or support my local Indie bookshop (they kindly give me a good discount which helps!!!)? Should I buy fewer clothes of high quality at a price which suggests the workers are getting a reasonable deal and make them last? If I do, can I be sure that’s really the case and I’m not just being ripped off? Should I only ever buy Fair Trade clothing? (I’m a big fan of Bishopston Trading Company but their style is not suitable for all occasions and some of their garments don’t stand up to much washing!) Is it possible to get Fair Trade bras that actually do something for those challenged in the boob department?
I’m very lucky. I’m part of a wholefood co-operative which solves some of my store-cupboard dilemmas. ‘Essential’ stocks a wide range of Fair Trade, organic and animal friendly products and buying in bulk with others means the cost is minimised. But it’s an extra effort – the weighing and the sorting – it takes time – and time, of course, is money.
And then there’s the fruit and veg. Oh my goodness, what a minefield! Those who go to local Farmers’ Markets get the most Brownie points here. You’re buying local (you hope!) and possibly organic and possibly rare breed and free range. And you’re certainly supporting British farmers who earn a paltry amount and work every hour God sends. But if, like me, you cannot get to a Farmer’s Market and you’re trying to cram five fruit and veg into children who turn their noses up at English Coxes and Conference Pears, then you are doomed to spend a long time rummaging in your local supermarket, checking labels for country of origin, whether it’s GM modified, and, of course, whether it’s organic or Fair Trade. You will see a few others with furrowed brows rummaging too – and will despair at the number who couldn’t care less! Are they the same people who are happy to take twenty plastic bags home with them, at every single visit?
Meat…let’s just say that I have two free-range chickens, Edwina and Theodora, in my garden and I see that they are very happy. I see the sad little packs of bland skinned chicken breasts, two for the price of one – and I only buy them very occasionally and hope Ed and Ted can’t detect my guilt!
And I nearly forgot Nestle! As a long-term boycotter, I gave up such delights as Shredded Wheat ages ago and my children have never known the joys of, for example, Kit Kats. (Can’t say we’ve missed them!) I was a breastfeeding counsellor for five years and just don’t ask how long I breastfed my own children for – oops, I can feel another rant simmering…. But that the Nestle reach includes L’Oreal and therefore now The Body Shop - and a complete monopoly on condensed milk - is really irritating. When we occasionally eat Bannoffee Pie, we feel a penance is required!
The whole thing is one long fudge and compromise. I’d be a veggie if I could eat cheese. The challenge to eat so much fruit and veg tempts me into the exotic. The price of organic, free-range meat means we eat it less often. The lack of variety in Fair Trade chocolate means I take pity on the kids and buy a rationed amount of the Evil Stuff for their lunch boxes. With clothes, I’m very good for a while – and then I’ll go and fall for a bargain in H&M!
So tell me – how do you all resolve the dilemmas of shopping ethically? There’s more I could say – the topic seems endless. Fresh store-cupboard nightmares emerge all the time and there are bound to be loads I don’t know about! Finding your way through this particular moral maze is time-consuming and depressing. However hard you try, you’re just never going to get it completely right! Many Christians, of course, accept that state of affairs anyway – we can never achieve perfection in anything. But I would like to be encouraged to do the best I can – at 8am on a Saturday in Sainsbury’s, I begin to lose the will to live!
Write me a post! Tell me your tips for ethical consumerism – if that’s not a contradiction in terms!
And thank you, Alis, for allowing me to quote from ‘Testament’ – read it everyone!
Wednesday, 23 January 2008
Meg rants about Heath Ledger's death!
For my younger readers:
There has been sadness in this house today. At least three of us are Heath Ledger fans and he is dead. A bright light has gone out. You may have noticed that on my profile, I list two of my favourite films as ‘A Knight’s Tale’ and ‘Brokeback Mountain.’ Leave ‘Brokeback Mountain’ for now. It is very moving but you may find it disturbing. But do watch ‘A Knight’s Tale’ if you haven’t seen it. It is funny, quirky, slightly off-the-wall and like no other film I have seen. It has a great and completely inappropriate sound-track – and that’s one of the things that’s so delightfully odd about it. And Heath Ledger plays the leading role. Another of his that you may enjoy is ’10 things I hate about you’ which as an updated version of Shakespeare’s ‘The Taming of the Shrew’, set in a high school.
The cause of his death has not been identified yet – but he has recently had a history of drug abuse and has been in rehab. You will have been told this again and again but I’ll say it to you too. Don’t go there. Just say ‘No!’
For my more wrinkly readers:
I’m a Heath Ledger fan. I was going to write about something completely different tonight but I want to pay my respects. He was a very fine and talented actor. I didn’t know he was only 28 – I’m not a groupie – I just admire his work and, let’s not deny it, he was what my daughters would call ‘a hottie’! His astonishingly sensitive performance in ‘Brokeback Mountain’ suggested he was at least into his thirties to me. It seems to me quite beyond the normal reach of a 28 year old to turn in a performance of such perception and maturity.
But that, perhaps, is the point. That, perhaps, is why he was vulnerable to the lure of drugs. It’s a cliché that there isn’t much to divide genius and madness. I’m not suggesting that Heath was mad. Madness is a derogatory and not very helpful word – it conjures up images that are not representative of real mental health problems, the most common of which in this day and age appear to be depression and stress-related illnesses. One in six of us will suffer from depression at some time in our lives. One in ten children has a mental health problem.
Who knows what was going on inside for Heath? What we do know is that he felt pressurized by the paparazzi and detested living his life under the public gaze. His relationship with the mother of his daughter lasted only a couple of years. We have a picture of a young man of towering talent who put in some excellent work on some quality movies, was catapulted into stardom and all that that involves - and then crumpled. How often do we hear that story? There is a killing contradiction going on here. We claim to value our celebrities so much – and yet what we do is destroy them through media pressure, invasion of their privacy and paying them far too much money. In fact, we have no respect for them, we are simply deeply selfish in our attitude. There is a voracious appetite for magazines such as ‘Heat’ and ‘Hello’ and so our stars are hounded. We are not satisfied by the display of their work; we want the display of their private lives too. And we could not do it to more vulnerable people. It seems to me, to be a fine actor, there has to be high intelligence and an abnormally sensitive nature, both of which, in my view, are also likely to make someone at risk of becoming mentally unstable. To an extent, I’ve been there myself. As a teenager I was very aware of and almost overwhelmed by images coming out of the Biafran war. At school we studied war poetry. It was the time of the Cold War. Apocalypse was on our minds. There were endless bomb scares with the troubles in Northern Ireland at a peak. I am not extremely intelligent or over-sensitive but I definitely began to have mental health problems. Our actors ‘live’ some of the most distressing scenarios our world can throw at us for our edification and entertainment – and live in the same world as us, with its continual bombardment of pain. How must it feel to deal with all that – with a heightened intelligence and sensitivity too? Given the money to indulge, the temptation to ‘drown sorrow’ or find a chemical escape must be hard to resist.
Yet instead of caring for our young talents, be they actors, musicians, footballers or sportspeople, our society hounds them. Their privacy is destroyed and they have no place to go. How attractive a drug-induced space might appear!
The felony is compounded by the amount they are paid. I don’t know how you solve this one. The situation is obscenely out of hand and I don’t know how you turn the clock back. But I am convinced that, psychologically, it is deeply unhealthy to be paid as we know some footballers and film stars are paid. We are telling them that they are special, way out and beyond the scope of any human specialness. Buoyed up to believe that you are Superman or Woman, how does it then feel when things aren’t going so well? Or when you’re faced with the ordinary day to day tetchiness of living with other people? Or when, despite your specialness, your toddler won’t sleep or throws a tantrum that you simply cannot deal with? And you have all this money, this mark of your specialness – and it is no help whatsoever. Is it surprising that again and again, we see these young people crash hard and often fatally?
What are we up to? Why can we not offer affirmation rather than adoration, respect rather than ruthlessness? Is it jealousy? Is there a streak in society which wants to prove that these people are not so special after all? They may be brilliant – but that doesn’t mean they will survive. Is it just a bigger and nastier version of what happens in schools the world over – the clever kids get picked on until they crumple? We claim to admire ability – but really we can’t bear it or those who have it?
Let’s roll out a cliché. What a tragic waste! Obviously, Heath had issues. He was in turmoil. His inner life is implicated in his death. But so is his public life. Our society – we – should take a share of the responsibility for ‘tragic waste’ happening again and again and again.
I don’t buy women’s magazines – I made that decision a long time ago for other reasons. Maybe I’ll write a blog about that! Life is better without them. Our stars lives would be better without them. Take a small step. Don’t buy them. Don’t even read them at the dentist’s! The supply of invasive material about celebrities’ private lives will only dry up when there is no demand. So don’t demand it – please! And maybe our shining talents will be allowed to live in peace. Or just live.
Now watch Heath Ledger’s films! That’s the best mark of respect.
There has been sadness in this house today. At least three of us are Heath Ledger fans and he is dead. A bright light has gone out. You may have noticed that on my profile, I list two of my favourite films as ‘A Knight’s Tale’ and ‘Brokeback Mountain.’ Leave ‘Brokeback Mountain’ for now. It is very moving but you may find it disturbing. But do watch ‘A Knight’s Tale’ if you haven’t seen it. It is funny, quirky, slightly off-the-wall and like no other film I have seen. It has a great and completely inappropriate sound-track – and that’s one of the things that’s so delightfully odd about it. And Heath Ledger plays the leading role. Another of his that you may enjoy is ’10 things I hate about you’ which as an updated version of Shakespeare’s ‘The Taming of the Shrew’, set in a high school.
The cause of his death has not been identified yet – but he has recently had a history of drug abuse and has been in rehab. You will have been told this again and again but I’ll say it to you too. Don’t go there. Just say ‘No!’
For my more wrinkly readers:
I’m a Heath Ledger fan. I was going to write about something completely different tonight but I want to pay my respects. He was a very fine and talented actor. I didn’t know he was only 28 – I’m not a groupie – I just admire his work and, let’s not deny it, he was what my daughters would call ‘a hottie’! His astonishingly sensitive performance in ‘Brokeback Mountain’ suggested he was at least into his thirties to me. It seems to me quite beyond the normal reach of a 28 year old to turn in a performance of such perception and maturity.
But that, perhaps, is the point. That, perhaps, is why he was vulnerable to the lure of drugs. It’s a cliché that there isn’t much to divide genius and madness. I’m not suggesting that Heath was mad. Madness is a derogatory and not very helpful word – it conjures up images that are not representative of real mental health problems, the most common of which in this day and age appear to be depression and stress-related illnesses. One in six of us will suffer from depression at some time in our lives. One in ten children has a mental health problem.
Who knows what was going on inside for Heath? What we do know is that he felt pressurized by the paparazzi and detested living his life under the public gaze. His relationship with the mother of his daughter lasted only a couple of years. We have a picture of a young man of towering talent who put in some excellent work on some quality movies, was catapulted into stardom and all that that involves - and then crumpled. How often do we hear that story? There is a killing contradiction going on here. We claim to value our celebrities so much – and yet what we do is destroy them through media pressure, invasion of their privacy and paying them far too much money. In fact, we have no respect for them, we are simply deeply selfish in our attitude. There is a voracious appetite for magazines such as ‘Heat’ and ‘Hello’ and so our stars are hounded. We are not satisfied by the display of their work; we want the display of their private lives too. And we could not do it to more vulnerable people. It seems to me, to be a fine actor, there has to be high intelligence and an abnormally sensitive nature, both of which, in my view, are also likely to make someone at risk of becoming mentally unstable. To an extent, I’ve been there myself. As a teenager I was very aware of and almost overwhelmed by images coming out of the Biafran war. At school we studied war poetry. It was the time of the Cold War. Apocalypse was on our minds. There were endless bomb scares with the troubles in Northern Ireland at a peak. I am not extremely intelligent or over-sensitive but I definitely began to have mental health problems. Our actors ‘live’ some of the most distressing scenarios our world can throw at us for our edification and entertainment – and live in the same world as us, with its continual bombardment of pain. How must it feel to deal with all that – with a heightened intelligence and sensitivity too? Given the money to indulge, the temptation to ‘drown sorrow’ or find a chemical escape must be hard to resist.
Yet instead of caring for our young talents, be they actors, musicians, footballers or sportspeople, our society hounds them. Their privacy is destroyed and they have no place to go. How attractive a drug-induced space might appear!
The felony is compounded by the amount they are paid. I don’t know how you solve this one. The situation is obscenely out of hand and I don’t know how you turn the clock back. But I am convinced that, psychologically, it is deeply unhealthy to be paid as we know some footballers and film stars are paid. We are telling them that they are special, way out and beyond the scope of any human specialness. Buoyed up to believe that you are Superman or Woman, how does it then feel when things aren’t going so well? Or when you’re faced with the ordinary day to day tetchiness of living with other people? Or when, despite your specialness, your toddler won’t sleep or throws a tantrum that you simply cannot deal with? And you have all this money, this mark of your specialness – and it is no help whatsoever. Is it surprising that again and again, we see these young people crash hard and often fatally?
What are we up to? Why can we not offer affirmation rather than adoration, respect rather than ruthlessness? Is it jealousy? Is there a streak in society which wants to prove that these people are not so special after all? They may be brilliant – but that doesn’t mean they will survive. Is it just a bigger and nastier version of what happens in schools the world over – the clever kids get picked on until they crumple? We claim to admire ability – but really we can’t bear it or those who have it?
Let’s roll out a cliché. What a tragic waste! Obviously, Heath had issues. He was in turmoil. His inner life is implicated in his death. But so is his public life. Our society – we – should take a share of the responsibility for ‘tragic waste’ happening again and again and again.
I don’t buy women’s magazines – I made that decision a long time ago for other reasons. Maybe I’ll write a blog about that! Life is better without them. Our stars lives would be better without them. Take a small step. Don’t buy them. Don’t even read them at the dentist’s! The supply of invasive material about celebrities’ private lives will only dry up when there is no demand. So don’t demand it – please! And maybe our shining talents will be allowed to live in peace. Or just live.
Now watch Heath Ledger’s films! That’s the best mark of respect.
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Meg rants about the Death Penalty
For my younger readers:
When I get asked about where I get my ideas from, one of the things I mention is that the books that seem to work have to be important to me – I have to be saying something that I care about. I don’t mean that I’m writing a sermon or giving a lecture – but that there’s something in the mix that I’m passionate about. With many of my books I’m writing about forgiveness and reconciliation, with others there’s a socio-political edge. And I write a lot about God! The book that I’ve just sent to my agent is a gripping thriller (I think!) but it’s also about mental illness and Internet deception and relationships – all things I could rant about at length! But today I shall be ranting about something else that I’ve long been concerned about – the death penalty which is still in use in many countries, much to my disgust. There may be a book emerging from this eventually – I don’t know! Today, you may find it interesting to read my blog for wrinklies – but it is quite distressing so be warned!
For my more wrinkly readers:
Several of my friends have asked me this week if I listened to ‘Saturday Live’ on Radio 4 on Saturday. This is because it featured a man who had been on Death Row in America for (I think) 23 years before being declared innocent – and my friends know that I write to Eric, a man convicted of murder, and currently awaiting execution in a unit in Texas.
Why do I do this?
I can’t remember a time when I didn’t think that capital punishment was appalling. I remember being very concerned about innocent victims and about convicts being given a second chance. Very early on I got the idea that God wants to forgive us when we repent – and that he wants us to forgive each other – so the idea of something as irreversible as capital punishment seemed utterly wrong. I was concerned about the effect on the hangman; I still am – but I also now worry about the more general de-humanising effect on a society which is happy to go along with such barbarism.
Don’t expect me to pontificate on alternatives, other deterrents, prison over-crowding and the like – here I am ranting and my rant is pure! It is single-issue and single-minded. Killing people is wrong, whatever they have done. What you do to murderers instead is a different issue.
What is equally wrong is what happens to people like Eric once sentence has been passed and they are banged up on Death Row. I think the assumption is that their end is swift. Far from it. Eric was convicted when he was 25. That is now over ten years ago. He has spent that time in a cell that measures 6 feet by 10 feet. The walls are painted white and the bunk has a blue mattress pad and pillow. There are three small cubicles under the bed for storage and a metal shelf and writing table are bolted to the concrete wall. A stainless steel sink and toilet are attached to one of the walls and there is a fluorescent light (controlled by the officers) mounted inside one wall. The only window is a slit about 3 inches high by 3 feet wide and this is located high in the wall above the bunk. The door is solid steel with two vertical slits that serve as windows. An additional hinged horizontal slit in the door serves as a means of passing food trays in and out. If you behave well you get puddings and the occasional visitor. If you don’t behave yourself, you don’t.
So not only is Eric condemned to die for one murder (which he claims he didn’t commit), he has also suffered ten years of confinement in conditions where he gets barely a glimpse of the outside world and where his opportunities to converse with other people are very minimal. He exercises alone in areas enclosed with steel bars. There is no in-cell TV. Some inmates have access to books and reading materials but only those with the best disciplinary records are permitted to have radios. They can spend up to 23 hours per day locked in their cells. There is space for 504 inmates in Eric’s unit – and that’s only one of the units in Texas. So this is a deterrent that works?!
I don’t care whether Eric committed a murder or not. No human being should be kept in those conditions for that long in the expectation of his/her death. I am astonished that Eric is still sane. The reason he is not dead yet is that the appeal system is slow and lengthy. That sounds good – until you think about what it must be like to be waiting – and when you learn that very few people’s appeals succeed. Eric has lost his final appeal. When that happens, inmates are usually dead within a year. Eric isn’t because there is currently a stay of execution in Texas because the legality of the method (lethal injection) has been questioned. And thank God that it has! You may have assumed (as I did) that at least the method of execution would be humane. Not so – the three-drug cocktail used is thought to cause excruciating pain. It sedates the patient (not anaesthetises), collapses the lungs and stops the heart. The administration takes 2-3 minutes and death usually takes place 8-10 minutes after the process begins. Think about it.
Until the Court of Criminal Appeals addresses the issues raised, there will be no executions in Texas – so Eric has a reprieve. I pray that it is not temporary. Meanwhile, I continue to write to him and he writes to me. He has eight correspondents, though some are more regular than others, and he values them highly. Wouldn’t you? The other chances to communicate with anyone are absolutely minimal.
I do it because it’s something very small I can do in the cause of something big that is wrong – and because I’m a writer. If writers can’t write to people in such desperate need of letters, then it’s a poor show. And, of course, like so many things you do because you’re trying to be good, the rewards are great. Eric writes affirming, sensitive, thoughtful letters back. Whether he killed someone or not, if he is executed another light will go out in the world and in my life. A person of skill, intelligence and artistry will be destroyed. Makes sense? Someone was killed – so let’s kill another one – that’ll help!
If you too would like to write to a prisoner on Death Row and are over 18, then please visit www.humanwrites.org and find out how to do it! I haven’t regretted it yet!
When I get asked about where I get my ideas from, one of the things I mention is that the books that seem to work have to be important to me – I have to be saying something that I care about. I don’t mean that I’m writing a sermon or giving a lecture – but that there’s something in the mix that I’m passionate about. With many of my books I’m writing about forgiveness and reconciliation, with others there’s a socio-political edge. And I write a lot about God! The book that I’ve just sent to my agent is a gripping thriller (I think!) but it’s also about mental illness and Internet deception and relationships – all things I could rant about at length! But today I shall be ranting about something else that I’ve long been concerned about – the death penalty which is still in use in many countries, much to my disgust. There may be a book emerging from this eventually – I don’t know! Today, you may find it interesting to read my blog for wrinklies – but it is quite distressing so be warned!
For my more wrinkly readers:
Several of my friends have asked me this week if I listened to ‘Saturday Live’ on Radio 4 on Saturday. This is because it featured a man who had been on Death Row in America for (I think) 23 years before being declared innocent – and my friends know that I write to Eric, a man convicted of murder, and currently awaiting execution in a unit in Texas.
Why do I do this?
I can’t remember a time when I didn’t think that capital punishment was appalling. I remember being very concerned about innocent victims and about convicts being given a second chance. Very early on I got the idea that God wants to forgive us when we repent – and that he wants us to forgive each other – so the idea of something as irreversible as capital punishment seemed utterly wrong. I was concerned about the effect on the hangman; I still am – but I also now worry about the more general de-humanising effect on a society which is happy to go along with such barbarism.
Don’t expect me to pontificate on alternatives, other deterrents, prison over-crowding and the like – here I am ranting and my rant is pure! It is single-issue and single-minded. Killing people is wrong, whatever they have done. What you do to murderers instead is a different issue.
What is equally wrong is what happens to people like Eric once sentence has been passed and they are banged up on Death Row. I think the assumption is that their end is swift. Far from it. Eric was convicted when he was 25. That is now over ten years ago. He has spent that time in a cell that measures 6 feet by 10 feet. The walls are painted white and the bunk has a blue mattress pad and pillow. There are three small cubicles under the bed for storage and a metal shelf and writing table are bolted to the concrete wall. A stainless steel sink and toilet are attached to one of the walls and there is a fluorescent light (controlled by the officers) mounted inside one wall. The only window is a slit about 3 inches high by 3 feet wide and this is located high in the wall above the bunk. The door is solid steel with two vertical slits that serve as windows. An additional hinged horizontal slit in the door serves as a means of passing food trays in and out. If you behave well you get puddings and the occasional visitor. If you don’t behave yourself, you don’t.
So not only is Eric condemned to die for one murder (which he claims he didn’t commit), he has also suffered ten years of confinement in conditions where he gets barely a glimpse of the outside world and where his opportunities to converse with other people are very minimal. He exercises alone in areas enclosed with steel bars. There is no in-cell TV. Some inmates have access to books and reading materials but only those with the best disciplinary records are permitted to have radios. They can spend up to 23 hours per day locked in their cells. There is space for 504 inmates in Eric’s unit – and that’s only one of the units in Texas. So this is a deterrent that works?!
I don’t care whether Eric committed a murder or not. No human being should be kept in those conditions for that long in the expectation of his/her death. I am astonished that Eric is still sane. The reason he is not dead yet is that the appeal system is slow and lengthy. That sounds good – until you think about what it must be like to be waiting – and when you learn that very few people’s appeals succeed. Eric has lost his final appeal. When that happens, inmates are usually dead within a year. Eric isn’t because there is currently a stay of execution in Texas because the legality of the method (lethal injection) has been questioned. And thank God that it has! You may have assumed (as I did) that at least the method of execution would be humane. Not so – the three-drug cocktail used is thought to cause excruciating pain. It sedates the patient (not anaesthetises), collapses the lungs and stops the heart. The administration takes 2-3 minutes and death usually takes place 8-10 minutes after the process begins. Think about it.
Until the Court of Criminal Appeals addresses the issues raised, there will be no executions in Texas – so Eric has a reprieve. I pray that it is not temporary. Meanwhile, I continue to write to him and he writes to me. He has eight correspondents, though some are more regular than others, and he values them highly. Wouldn’t you? The other chances to communicate with anyone are absolutely minimal.
I do it because it’s something very small I can do in the cause of something big that is wrong – and because I’m a writer. If writers can’t write to people in such desperate need of letters, then it’s a poor show. And, of course, like so many things you do because you’re trying to be good, the rewards are great. Eric writes affirming, sensitive, thoughtful letters back. Whether he killed someone or not, if he is executed another light will go out in the world and in my life. A person of skill, intelligence and artistry will be destroyed. Makes sense? Someone was killed – so let’s kill another one – that’ll help!
If you too would like to write to a prisoner on Death Row and are over 18, then please visit www.humanwrites.org and find out how to do it! I haven’t regretted it yet!
Thursday, 10 January 2008
Meg rants about the lack of community spirit - and parties!
For my younger readers:
Happy New Year! I’m sorry not to have blogged for a while – Christmas and New Year rather got in the way! I hope you had a really good one and got lots of books and book tokens as presents! I didn’t but I’ve just gone and spent some of my Christmas money at my wonderful favourite bookshop, Warwick Books, where they are having a sale. I’m very lucky as they sometimes give me free copies of uncorrected proof copies of books (these are more cheaply produced copies of books which aren’t completely perfect and which publishers use to publicise a book in advance of it being launched) and one that I read recently was ‘The Declaration’ by Gemma Malley. I loved it. It’s Science Fiction and is based on a pretty horrible idea so I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re under 11 but it’s very gripping and will make you think! It’s only in hardback at present I think (and has a really lovely cover) so you may want to wait a while - but it’s definitely one to look out for. It reminded me a little of ‘Piper’ – sci-fi – nasty idea – maybe that’s why I liked it!
I’ve just sent my latest book to my agent so she will have to see if she can sell it to a publisher. It’s called ‘Fragile’ and I think it’s really gripping so would love it to be published. This one is for the 13+ age group – I like to keep trying something new – though I think my agent would prefer tried and trusted. Everyone thinks that if you once get a book published, then everything else you write will also be published – but it just isn’t like that. Unless you manage to become extremely popular (like Jacqueline Wilson) you have to produce something brilliant every single time. So wish me luck – or buy more of my books – or write to publishers demanding more books by me!!!
For my more wrinkly readers:
First, a book recommendation for you too! My great friend, Alis Hawkins, has her first novel ‘Testament’ being published by Macmillan very shortly. Unfortunately, it’s only in hard-back at present but I still strongly encourage you to buy it or at least order it from your library as, even though I haven’t read the latest draft, I know it’ll be brilliant. I’m hoping to do a joint signing and selling with her so I can get that set up, I’ll post a note about it here.
OK, the party season is over and I’m disappointed! Did I get invited to any parties? No. Did I hold any? Yes. I held a very civilised mince pies and mulled wine party (despite my recent blog on alcohol! There was mulled grape juice too!) for local friends and neighbours which was supported by enough people to make it very enjoyable – but I am always disappointed that more people don’t attend or give parties. I’m not exactly a raving party animal but I do seem to be experiencing a complete dearth. Maybe no one likes me? Maybe I’m a complete embarrassment at parties? Maybe people think tea-total =anti-social? Maybe…?
I could get depressed about my status as a social leper but, to be honest, I don’t really think that’s the problem. When I made a real effort to celebrate my birthday in October and invited my 20 favourite people round for a very simple meal, only 4 couldn’t make it and they had bomb-proof excuses. No, the problem seems to be a lack of party spirit in general. In the summer, I held a cream tea party for people on our estate whom I know – however vaguely! I suggested that they brought anyone else that they knew too, in an attempt to expand community spirit – but no one did. Maybe that’s just too weird a concept – ‘Hey, neighbour who I only speak to when we put out the re-cycling boxes – how about coming to this tea-party with this woman I only speak to when our dogs fight?’ Hmmm….
Worse, when I was explaining about this party to a friend, she looked at me as if I was completely unhinged.
‘Why would you want to do that?’ she said.
I was completely taken aback. ‘What?’ I said.
‘Have a party for your neighbours. Haven’t you got enough friends?’
We talked it over. She said she’d hardly got enough time for the friends she has – why would she want to befriend her neighbours? I was gob-smacked. I guess it’s just one of those things I thought was a given – you try to get to know your neighbours, build up community spirit, that sort of thing. But then I am from the North-West! Until that moment, it had never occurred to me that anyone wouldn’t understand that this was a ‘good thing’. Another friend pointed out that we don’t really do geographical social networks now – we do networks of colleagues, networks associated with hobbies and of course, networks of virtual friends. What am I doing now, for goodness sake? But I still like to know who’s living next to me and would love to know just a little more about the people in my close. Why? I don’t know. I did when I was little – not everybody, but enough to feel that there was a bit of a community looking out for me. Maybe we are so paranoid about the safety of our children because a lot of us live in places where that sense of belonging to a group of discreetly benevolent people is completely absent. Instead, some of us live feeling threatened by or suspicious of our neighbours and it is remarkable how many times neighbours, despite hardly knowing each other, seem to get into real conflict, saying things they wouldn’t dream of saying to people they knew. I suspect that if we are living in close proximity with people we barely know, tension will inevitably arise – unless we take the trouble to get to know them before it does. It is harder to slag off someone you’ve borrowed some milk from or who looks after your cat. You can argue, of course, that it is the feeling of threat that prevents you from borrowing the milk. And, actually, you think they’d poison your moggie. Are we condemned to live as geographical isolates? By so enjoying the social networks which our cars and the Internet give us, are we doing the baby and bathwater trick? If so, it’ll be tough when the oil runs out.
And has all this anything to do with the lack of parties? Well, maybe. Sometimes I walk round my estate at night and I see immaculate houses with the curtains open and people slobbing out on sofas watching the TV – or doing more or less what I’m doing now! Maybe we have become so used to retreating to our private spaces of entertainment where we can watch people or communicate with them without the occasional discomfort of their actual physical presence, that the idea of a whole gang of people invading those same immaculate (mine isn’t, in case you hadn’t guessed) houses is all a bit much. It’s certainly an effort. It requires the work of inviting, planning, organising and spending. And then there’s the hosting when they all actually turn up – are they enjoying themselves? Worry, worry, worry. And emotionally, it can be rough. Even if people say they’ll come, they won’t necessarily – things happen! So it can be pretty nail-biting waiting, as you think of the hours and money you’ve spent! Refusals are no better – there’s always the fear that it’s nothing to do with their aunt’s birthday, they just can’t stand you! So in some ways I understand the reluctance. Of course, the young do it all the time! My kids have no problem getting invitations to parties – but they have time and energy on their side. I’m in the very privileged (if hard-up!) position of working very flexibly. I have times of intense busy-ness but if I’m organising something, be it only a party, I can shunt things around. And I don’t sleep much so night-time merriment always appeals to me, whereas other people my age seem to have got depressingly fond of sleeping – even on New Year’s Eve! I was lucky enough to be in Scotland with friends at a ceilidh and I promise you there is no better way to bring the New Year in than, stone-cold sober, dancing a Strip the Willow along the full length of a sports hall! A party that I hadn’t organised – bliss!
Are we all just too busy and worn out? Is that it? Too stressed and tired by the pressures of modern life? If so, I’m sad. I love my virtual life, I love the one-to- ones I enjoy with my closest friends, I love the social groups I’m in – book groups, film group, church house group – but I also want to make space to know my geographical community – and to party!!!
Happy New Year! I’m sorry not to have blogged for a while – Christmas and New Year rather got in the way! I hope you had a really good one and got lots of books and book tokens as presents! I didn’t but I’ve just gone and spent some of my Christmas money at my wonderful favourite bookshop, Warwick Books, where they are having a sale. I’m very lucky as they sometimes give me free copies of uncorrected proof copies of books (these are more cheaply produced copies of books which aren’t completely perfect and which publishers use to publicise a book in advance of it being launched) and one that I read recently was ‘The Declaration’ by Gemma Malley. I loved it. It’s Science Fiction and is based on a pretty horrible idea so I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re under 11 but it’s very gripping and will make you think! It’s only in hardback at present I think (and has a really lovely cover) so you may want to wait a while - but it’s definitely one to look out for. It reminded me a little of ‘Piper’ – sci-fi – nasty idea – maybe that’s why I liked it!
I’ve just sent my latest book to my agent so she will have to see if she can sell it to a publisher. It’s called ‘Fragile’ and I think it’s really gripping so would love it to be published. This one is for the 13+ age group – I like to keep trying something new – though I think my agent would prefer tried and trusted. Everyone thinks that if you once get a book published, then everything else you write will also be published – but it just isn’t like that. Unless you manage to become extremely popular (like Jacqueline Wilson) you have to produce something brilliant every single time. So wish me luck – or buy more of my books – or write to publishers demanding more books by me!!!
For my more wrinkly readers:
First, a book recommendation for you too! My great friend, Alis Hawkins, has her first novel ‘Testament’ being published by Macmillan very shortly. Unfortunately, it’s only in hard-back at present but I still strongly encourage you to buy it or at least order it from your library as, even though I haven’t read the latest draft, I know it’ll be brilliant. I’m hoping to do a joint signing and selling with her so I can get that set up, I’ll post a note about it here.
OK, the party season is over and I’m disappointed! Did I get invited to any parties? No. Did I hold any? Yes. I held a very civilised mince pies and mulled wine party (despite my recent blog on alcohol! There was mulled grape juice too!) for local friends and neighbours which was supported by enough people to make it very enjoyable – but I am always disappointed that more people don’t attend or give parties. I’m not exactly a raving party animal but I do seem to be experiencing a complete dearth. Maybe no one likes me? Maybe I’m a complete embarrassment at parties? Maybe people think tea-total =anti-social? Maybe…?
I could get depressed about my status as a social leper but, to be honest, I don’t really think that’s the problem. When I made a real effort to celebrate my birthday in October and invited my 20 favourite people round for a very simple meal, only 4 couldn’t make it and they had bomb-proof excuses. No, the problem seems to be a lack of party spirit in general. In the summer, I held a cream tea party for people on our estate whom I know – however vaguely! I suggested that they brought anyone else that they knew too, in an attempt to expand community spirit – but no one did. Maybe that’s just too weird a concept – ‘Hey, neighbour who I only speak to when we put out the re-cycling boxes – how about coming to this tea-party with this woman I only speak to when our dogs fight?’ Hmmm….
Worse, when I was explaining about this party to a friend, she looked at me as if I was completely unhinged.
‘Why would you want to do that?’ she said.
I was completely taken aback. ‘What?’ I said.
‘Have a party for your neighbours. Haven’t you got enough friends?’
We talked it over. She said she’d hardly got enough time for the friends she has – why would she want to befriend her neighbours? I was gob-smacked. I guess it’s just one of those things I thought was a given – you try to get to know your neighbours, build up community spirit, that sort of thing. But then I am from the North-West! Until that moment, it had never occurred to me that anyone wouldn’t understand that this was a ‘good thing’. Another friend pointed out that we don’t really do geographical social networks now – we do networks of colleagues, networks associated with hobbies and of course, networks of virtual friends. What am I doing now, for goodness sake? But I still like to know who’s living next to me and would love to know just a little more about the people in my close. Why? I don’t know. I did when I was little – not everybody, but enough to feel that there was a bit of a community looking out for me. Maybe we are so paranoid about the safety of our children because a lot of us live in places where that sense of belonging to a group of discreetly benevolent people is completely absent. Instead, some of us live feeling threatened by or suspicious of our neighbours and it is remarkable how many times neighbours, despite hardly knowing each other, seem to get into real conflict, saying things they wouldn’t dream of saying to people they knew. I suspect that if we are living in close proximity with people we barely know, tension will inevitably arise – unless we take the trouble to get to know them before it does. It is harder to slag off someone you’ve borrowed some milk from or who looks after your cat. You can argue, of course, that it is the feeling of threat that prevents you from borrowing the milk. And, actually, you think they’d poison your moggie. Are we condemned to live as geographical isolates? By so enjoying the social networks which our cars and the Internet give us, are we doing the baby and bathwater trick? If so, it’ll be tough when the oil runs out.
And has all this anything to do with the lack of parties? Well, maybe. Sometimes I walk round my estate at night and I see immaculate houses with the curtains open and people slobbing out on sofas watching the TV – or doing more or less what I’m doing now! Maybe we have become so used to retreating to our private spaces of entertainment where we can watch people or communicate with them without the occasional discomfort of their actual physical presence, that the idea of a whole gang of people invading those same immaculate (mine isn’t, in case you hadn’t guessed) houses is all a bit much. It’s certainly an effort. It requires the work of inviting, planning, organising and spending. And then there’s the hosting when they all actually turn up – are they enjoying themselves? Worry, worry, worry. And emotionally, it can be rough. Even if people say they’ll come, they won’t necessarily – things happen! So it can be pretty nail-biting waiting, as you think of the hours and money you’ve spent! Refusals are no better – there’s always the fear that it’s nothing to do with their aunt’s birthday, they just can’t stand you! So in some ways I understand the reluctance. Of course, the young do it all the time! My kids have no problem getting invitations to parties – but they have time and energy on their side. I’m in the very privileged (if hard-up!) position of working very flexibly. I have times of intense busy-ness but if I’m organising something, be it only a party, I can shunt things around. And I don’t sleep much so night-time merriment always appeals to me, whereas other people my age seem to have got depressingly fond of sleeping – even on New Year’s Eve! I was lucky enough to be in Scotland with friends at a ceilidh and I promise you there is no better way to bring the New Year in than, stone-cold sober, dancing a Strip the Willow along the full length of a sports hall! A party that I hadn’t organised – bliss!
Are we all just too busy and worn out? Is that it? Too stressed and tired by the pressures of modern life? If so, I’m sad. I love my virtual life, I love the one-to- ones I enjoy with my closest friends, I love the social groups I’m in – book groups, film group, church house group – but I also want to make space to know my geographical community – and to party!!!
Wednesday, 19 December 2007
Meg rants about Competitiveness!
For my younger readers:
Christmas is coming! A good time to give my books as presents to all your friends and relatives! OK, I’m not entirely serious but I have to admit that an awful lot of the presents I’ve bought for other people are books – and, of course, I’ve bought them all at my wonderful, local independent bookshop, Warwick Books, in the Market Place in Warwick – where I run my kids’ book group. If you have a local independent bookshop, do try to support it – or you won’t have it much longer – and you won’t have such an interesting choice of books to nip in and browse through! Waterstones’ books are mostly chosen centrally by a very small group of buyers – which is why you’ll have to order my Lion Hudson books (the ‘My Mum’ and ‘St Jenni’ series and ‘The Ghost in the Gallery’ rather than finding them on the shelves) as they’ve been in print for a long time which means they’re not as appealing to Waterstones’ buyers. I also suspect that because they mention God rather a lot, there’s a bit of suspicion about what I’m trying to do to your young minds! But don’t worry – I’m not trying to indoctrinate you! I am a practising Christian but one who is constantly arguing with or at least questioning God – much like Kate in the ‘My Mum’ books. So if you fancy doing a bit of questioning and thinking yourself over the Christmas period – good time to ponder spiritual matters, I think – then a ‘My Mum’ book might be a good starting point!
For my more wrinkly readers:
Apologies for last week’s effort which was long and rambling and of somewhat limited interest to those not as sold on Youth Theatre as me! More of a self-indulgent musing than a blog perhaps – but useful to me to get it out of my head and heart and on a screen in front of me! Having done it, I felt far more confident about going to what was potentially quite a difficult debriefing meeting after my performance week – which went well, as it turned out. And I stuck to my guns about encouraging absolute commitment to attend workshops in a performance term, which to my surprise I was challenged on. Apparently, one parent had complained! One! I wasn’t impressed – anyway, too much already!
This week, I’m inspired to write/rant by my church house group which I attended last night. We were looking at James Chapter 3 which some of you may know is a particularly challenging chapter for me as it’s headed ‘Taming the Tongue’, something I’m not exactly well-known for either virtually or in reality!
Anyway, we got through that bit without too much argument (mine is a very argumentative house group – suits me perfectly!). It was when we got onto the last 5 verses that things got exciting. Here we are told that ‘…if you harbour bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such ‘wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.’
Well, I have no real quibble with that. But one of our members, a man for whom I have great respect, did. He argued that the trouble with it was that ‘to get on in life’ we need a bit of selfish ambition and envy as a motivator. (Apologies for paraphrasing horribly.) He argued that in education, we do this with kids – we use competitiveness as a means of getting them to excel.
I was, I think pretty well behaved – this sort of argument is, for me, like a red rag to a bull. I am deeply suspicious of competitiveness in any shape or form. Some of my most unpleasant memories are of the bitchiness of girls in the competitive arena of netball or hockey. Before the game even starts, while teams are being picked, it brings out the worst in people. I have never found competition against other people to be a good motivator. I have wanted to do the best that I can do – I have, if you like, competed with myself – but the concept of competing against others, I find repellent. That seems to be about glorifying yourself at the expense of others. It looks like ‘selfish ambition’ to me and I am totally happy that James speaks out against it. For exercise, I’ll stick to swimming, walking, cycling and dancing, thanks very much!
I’m quite intrigued to consider how far this goes back for me. My parents were very much of the ‘You do the best you can and never mind anyone else’ school of thought and I know I have been heavily influenced for as long as I can remember by the Parable of the Talents (You have been given gifts by God and it’s up to you to make the most of them). I was not brought up in a conventional Christian family but somewhere along the way I imbibed the idea that co-operation rather than competition is the Christian way to relate to other people. I was, therefore, quite shocked to come up against a direct challenge in my house group. It’s one of those areas where I’ve assumed a more general agreement than exists.
If I try to be a bit more self-aware for a moment and look back, one of the reasons I chose not to send my children to school and educate them at home was because I couldn’t bear the competitiveness that came with having children. Whose baby would roll first, sit first, crawl first, walk first, speak first, be out of nappies first etc etc? School would mean more and worse – who’s child would read first? And ever on! I could see myself being dragged into a horrible way of being that I absolutely wanted to avoid. With fellow-home-edders, we organised non-competitive sports days and ran co-operative games workshops. When I started teaching drama, I avoided any warm-up games that were competitive and any that involved kids being ‘out’. I still do! And how do I organise my youth theatre companies? Do we audition? No, we don’t! We are as inclusive as we possibly can be. And do children achieve? Yes, of course they do! Not because they are in competition with others but because they are having fun and enjoying the learning for its own sake.
Now is this what my Christian friends do? No, of course not! They send their kids to school and sign them up for the local football club! Doh! So what I do or rather the philosophy that it springs from isn’t accepted mainstream Christianity. I can see why. You can read ‘selfish ambition’ and not read that as ‘competition’. We all know there are inspiring Christian sports men and women. But somehow, I’m not entirely comfortable with the idea. If there are winners, then there are losers – and really I don’t want anybody to experience the pain of losing. That doesn’t seem to be peace-loving, considerate, full of mercy or impartial! I even feel uncomfortable with the fact that some of my books get published when so many other people’s don’t.
In the mix last night we also threw ‘getting on’ in the work-place. How would a Christian who was ‘peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere’ do in business? Another member of our group very perceptively asked ‘Do you think Jesus ran his business along those lines?’ The answer, I think, has to be ‘Yes, he did – and that was one reason he got crucified.’ So how would a Christian contestant do on ‘The Apprentice’? Well, if they’re following James’ words, they’d get crucified too. And that’s the really difficult bit. We have to acknowledge that by accepting this teaching, by spurning a competitive approach and being co-operators, mercy givers and peace-makers, we will not necessarily be winners. We may not ‘get on’ in life to the same extent as those who embrace selfish ambition. We may (and many of us do!), find ourselves working in low-paid ‘caring’ or ‘people’ professions. We may find ourselves the victims of the more ruthless and more worldly.
Once we’re talking winners and losers, we move into another whole arena. What is war but another ghastly form of competition, a complete breakdown of co-operation? I know, of course, that Christians disagree on the validity of making war – but I have never quite been able to see why. Read passages such as James 3 17-18 and it seems to me that war defenders haven’t a leg to stand on. ‘Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.’ Clear enough?
It seems to me that those who argue that we must embrace the world’s competitiveness alongside our Christianity or we will not ‘get on’, that in certain circumstances we must make war to stop some tyrant or other, continually prevent us from seeing whether the approach advocated by James would really work. Ethical businesses are not (if we use a competitive metaphor!) allowed to play on a level playing field and war defenders rant about innocent victims of tyranny and are remarkably silent about the far greater numbers of innocent victims of war.
By following Jesus we need to accept that in very significant ways we are choosing to be losers – we are signing up for pain – or we are given the way the world works at the moment! We may even be choosing the biggest loss of all. We may be called upon to be martyrs. But perhaps that is a better than end than being a murderer. It’s the one that Jesus chose, after all.
PS. If this doesn’t get you arguing with me, then I despair!!! Come on, all you sports players!
Christmas is coming! A good time to give my books as presents to all your friends and relatives! OK, I’m not entirely serious but I have to admit that an awful lot of the presents I’ve bought for other people are books – and, of course, I’ve bought them all at my wonderful, local independent bookshop, Warwick Books, in the Market Place in Warwick – where I run my kids’ book group. If you have a local independent bookshop, do try to support it – or you won’t have it much longer – and you won’t have such an interesting choice of books to nip in and browse through! Waterstones’ books are mostly chosen centrally by a very small group of buyers – which is why you’ll have to order my Lion Hudson books (the ‘My Mum’ and ‘St Jenni’ series and ‘The Ghost in the Gallery’ rather than finding them on the shelves) as they’ve been in print for a long time which means they’re not as appealing to Waterstones’ buyers. I also suspect that because they mention God rather a lot, there’s a bit of suspicion about what I’m trying to do to your young minds! But don’t worry – I’m not trying to indoctrinate you! I am a practising Christian but one who is constantly arguing with or at least questioning God – much like Kate in the ‘My Mum’ books. So if you fancy doing a bit of questioning and thinking yourself over the Christmas period – good time to ponder spiritual matters, I think – then a ‘My Mum’ book might be a good starting point!
For my more wrinkly readers:
Apologies for last week’s effort which was long and rambling and of somewhat limited interest to those not as sold on Youth Theatre as me! More of a self-indulgent musing than a blog perhaps – but useful to me to get it out of my head and heart and on a screen in front of me! Having done it, I felt far more confident about going to what was potentially quite a difficult debriefing meeting after my performance week – which went well, as it turned out. And I stuck to my guns about encouraging absolute commitment to attend workshops in a performance term, which to my surprise I was challenged on. Apparently, one parent had complained! One! I wasn’t impressed – anyway, too much already!
This week, I’m inspired to write/rant by my church house group which I attended last night. We were looking at James Chapter 3 which some of you may know is a particularly challenging chapter for me as it’s headed ‘Taming the Tongue’, something I’m not exactly well-known for either virtually or in reality!
Anyway, we got through that bit without too much argument (mine is a very argumentative house group – suits me perfectly!). It was when we got onto the last 5 verses that things got exciting. Here we are told that ‘…if you harbour bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such ‘wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.’
Well, I have no real quibble with that. But one of our members, a man for whom I have great respect, did. He argued that the trouble with it was that ‘to get on in life’ we need a bit of selfish ambition and envy as a motivator. (Apologies for paraphrasing horribly.) He argued that in education, we do this with kids – we use competitiveness as a means of getting them to excel.
I was, I think pretty well behaved – this sort of argument is, for me, like a red rag to a bull. I am deeply suspicious of competitiveness in any shape or form. Some of my most unpleasant memories are of the bitchiness of girls in the competitive arena of netball or hockey. Before the game even starts, while teams are being picked, it brings out the worst in people. I have never found competition against other people to be a good motivator. I have wanted to do the best that I can do – I have, if you like, competed with myself – but the concept of competing against others, I find repellent. That seems to be about glorifying yourself at the expense of others. It looks like ‘selfish ambition’ to me and I am totally happy that James speaks out against it. For exercise, I’ll stick to swimming, walking, cycling and dancing, thanks very much!
I’m quite intrigued to consider how far this goes back for me. My parents were very much of the ‘You do the best you can and never mind anyone else’ school of thought and I know I have been heavily influenced for as long as I can remember by the Parable of the Talents (You have been given gifts by God and it’s up to you to make the most of them). I was not brought up in a conventional Christian family but somewhere along the way I imbibed the idea that co-operation rather than competition is the Christian way to relate to other people. I was, therefore, quite shocked to come up against a direct challenge in my house group. It’s one of those areas where I’ve assumed a more general agreement than exists.
If I try to be a bit more self-aware for a moment and look back, one of the reasons I chose not to send my children to school and educate them at home was because I couldn’t bear the competitiveness that came with having children. Whose baby would roll first, sit first, crawl first, walk first, speak first, be out of nappies first etc etc? School would mean more and worse – who’s child would read first? And ever on! I could see myself being dragged into a horrible way of being that I absolutely wanted to avoid. With fellow-home-edders, we organised non-competitive sports days and ran co-operative games workshops. When I started teaching drama, I avoided any warm-up games that were competitive and any that involved kids being ‘out’. I still do! And how do I organise my youth theatre companies? Do we audition? No, we don’t! We are as inclusive as we possibly can be. And do children achieve? Yes, of course they do! Not because they are in competition with others but because they are having fun and enjoying the learning for its own sake.
Now is this what my Christian friends do? No, of course not! They send their kids to school and sign them up for the local football club! Doh! So what I do or rather the philosophy that it springs from isn’t accepted mainstream Christianity. I can see why. You can read ‘selfish ambition’ and not read that as ‘competition’. We all know there are inspiring Christian sports men and women. But somehow, I’m not entirely comfortable with the idea. If there are winners, then there are losers – and really I don’t want anybody to experience the pain of losing. That doesn’t seem to be peace-loving, considerate, full of mercy or impartial! I even feel uncomfortable with the fact that some of my books get published when so many other people’s don’t.
In the mix last night we also threw ‘getting on’ in the work-place. How would a Christian who was ‘peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere’ do in business? Another member of our group very perceptively asked ‘Do you think Jesus ran his business along those lines?’ The answer, I think, has to be ‘Yes, he did – and that was one reason he got crucified.’ So how would a Christian contestant do on ‘The Apprentice’? Well, if they’re following James’ words, they’d get crucified too. And that’s the really difficult bit. We have to acknowledge that by accepting this teaching, by spurning a competitive approach and being co-operators, mercy givers and peace-makers, we will not necessarily be winners. We may not ‘get on’ in life to the same extent as those who embrace selfish ambition. We may (and many of us do!), find ourselves working in low-paid ‘caring’ or ‘people’ professions. We may find ourselves the victims of the more ruthless and more worldly.
Once we’re talking winners and losers, we move into another whole arena. What is war but another ghastly form of competition, a complete breakdown of co-operation? I know, of course, that Christians disagree on the validity of making war – but I have never quite been able to see why. Read passages such as James 3 17-18 and it seems to me that war defenders haven’t a leg to stand on. ‘Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.’ Clear enough?
It seems to me that those who argue that we must embrace the world’s competitiveness alongside our Christianity or we will not ‘get on’, that in certain circumstances we must make war to stop some tyrant or other, continually prevent us from seeing whether the approach advocated by James would really work. Ethical businesses are not (if we use a competitive metaphor!) allowed to play on a level playing field and war defenders rant about innocent victims of tyranny and are remarkably silent about the far greater numbers of innocent victims of war.
By following Jesus we need to accept that in very significant ways we are choosing to be losers – we are signing up for pain – or we are given the way the world works at the moment! We may even be choosing the biggest loss of all. We may be called upon to be martyrs. But perhaps that is a better than end than being a murderer. It’s the one that Jesus chose, after all.
PS. If this doesn’t get you arguing with me, then I despair!!! Come on, all you sports players!
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