Meg rants about Alcohol!

For my younger readers:

This week, I want to recommend a book I’ve just read. It’s called ‘The Portal’ by Andrew Norris. It’s Sci-Fi for anyone 9 or above, I think. It’s set in our world and then it strays off in a very intriguing way. There’s a real mystery to think about and some fantastic characters. I particularly liked the dog, Timber. I’m very fond of dogs in books – I have Wulfie in ‘Piper’, Munch in ‘Ghost in the Gallery’ and Rover in ‘My Mum and the Hound from Hell’. Makes up for not having one of my own at present! Timber is very appealing and not just your average dog – you’ll have to read the book to discover more! I was gripped from the word go and the style is very light and readable – just my sort of thing!

I’m looking forward to the sequel and, as I’m very, very picky about books, that’s high praise!

For my more wrinkly readers:

I’ve just had a birthday party – about four weeks late but that’s how it goes. Life for everyone is busy, busy, busy and it took some planning to get most (I couldn’t get all) of my favourite people there. I was a bit stressed throughout the evening – was everyone enjoying themselves? Would any of these randomly assorted people argue horribly? Was the food OK and would I poison anyone? But everyone appeared to have a good time.

Quite recently, a friend who is currently on the other side of the world told me that one of the things she appreciated about me was that all my friends were mad, bad or just plain controversial. On consideration, I think she is probably right. Certainly looking round my party guests, I knew that a fair number would admit to a degree of madness or badness or both! And just plain controversial? Well, probably all of them, to some degree – that’s one of the reasons I like them.

What’s controversial about them? Well, lots of things – but the thing that struck me given the party context was that I’d told them on the invitation not to expect alcohol; if they really had to have it they should bring their own. Only two people did and one bottle was still untouched at the end of the evening. In this day and age, if 18 people gather for a party and only one bottle of wine gets drunk between them, that seems to me fairly controversial. And it wasn’t as if they sat around all evening being poker-faced and miserable. Far from it! Some of them were still here at 2.30 in the morning, playing a no holds barred board game called ‘Therapy’.

I myself have never drunk alcohol beyond a polite sip of champagne at weddings (I’ve given even that up now as I detest the stuff) and some very welcome Murphy’s Irish Stout just after my twins were born – it’s supposed to help with the breastfeeding – I’m not convinced! So why not?

a) I think I was put off by a very jolly uncle’s premature death from alcoholism and resultant sclerosis of the liver when I was young and impressionable.
b) I don’t particularly like the taste.
c) I seriously dislike the effect on other people, from the smell of their breath to the disturbance in their behaviour, and can see no attraction in inflicting that on myself.
d) I don’t need artificial stimulants to enjoy myself.

What I don’t understand is why other people seem to like alcohol so much and actively seek its effects. I can just about understand the desire to loosen inhibitions a little - the ‘Dutch courage’ argument - but to actively seek drunkenness and oblivion seems to me utterly bizarre. Life is short. Why, unless you are miserable, would you want to deliberately miss any of it – or not be able to remember it, at least? Why do I hear so many young people saying, ‘Yeh – it was great! I couldn’t remember a thing about it next morning!’ Why is that great? And what is the point of spending time with people who are operating in a space divorced from reality? What I enjoy about spending time with other people is finding out what they think, how they tick, sharing views and experiences. I want to discover the ‘real’ them, in as much as that is ever possible. Once it is clouded by alcohol, I lose interest. The person I am talking to is no longer ‘real’. He or she becomes less inhibited, more out-spoken, louder, less witty and less sharp-brained. Often he or she will become boringly loquacious and repetitive, become too socially dominant and not know when or where to stop. And it takes remarkably little alcohol to see all these effects. So few people drink no alcohol on social occasions that I’m not sure how aware people are of all this. A solution, of course, is to join in – I prefer not to.

I probably sound like a prig and kill-joy but, without alcohol, I can still have a fantastic time. I get so high dancing that I worry what would happen if I added alcohol to the mix! And I don’t think anyone was complaining at my party the other night! The fact is that we do have an alcohol problem in this country – and I’m blessed if I can see why. What are people getting out of it? When I was doing my MA a couple of years ago, I used the university swimming pool. Time and again I would hear students in the changing rooms discussing their plans to get drunk. Going out for a drink, going to a party and, if you’re a bit shy, lubricating things a bit, I can just about understand – but actually planning to go out and get drunk? What’s that about? Knowing in advance of your birthday that the day after you won’t be doing anything because you’ll be ‘recovering’ – where’s the fun in that? And isn’t anyone ever worried about what they might do while they’re so out of it? Like get pregnant, pick up an STD, get into a fight, walk under some traffic, fall in the river and drown (like one of my ancestors did)? What about the financial cost? What about the long term health risks? What about the calories? What, could someone please explain, are the advantages? Are people so bored and miserable that they really have to have alcohol to add some sparkle? If so, how deeply, deeply sad.

My own children, I have never seen drunk. That doesn’t mean they haven’t been or that we haven’t had parties where alcohol has flowed liberally – mostly over the kitchen floor, from what I can remember. There was a great moment when someone filled my large Le Creuset with vomit, I recall. My children seem to hide their excesses from me. Not that I rant and rave about alcohol, except here. I just very evidently don’t do alcohol and neither does their dad – so maybe they feel uncomfortable about their own consumption – I don’t know. Over the years, the issue of how you introduce alcohol into a young person’s life in a way that is reasonable and sensible has troubled me. We all talk about the French introducing it from an early age and diluting it. Sounds like an excellent plan if you’re regular wine drinkers – not that I think I know anyone who has actually done it. But was I supposed to buy wine specifically to water it down for my kids? Sounds a bit mad to me! Occasionally there’s been wine around for some reason and we’ve allowed our children to have a little. We have not been hysterical or heavy about our abstinence. It’s just part of the picture of us as parents. And we’ve tried to show our children that there’s a huge amount of fun to be had without the need for chemical stimulation of any sort. After that, and out very stern warnings about drinking and driving, it has to be up to them. We’ll just have to see what happens.

My life is not perfect but I get a huge amount of enjoyment out of it most of the time. I can’t see how drinking alcohol would add anything. But clearly other people disagree. Why? Would someone like to explain?